Collector Cans

Coca-Cola, my personal favourite company, has come up with a new promotion idea they’re bandying about. As highlighted in the Indianapolis Star, Coke will use a GPS to pinpoint folks holding the winning cans in a promotion for cars and cash – likely culminating in a $1,000,000 Olympic week giveaway. The cans would contain a GPS, allowing Coke representatives to track you via satellite to award your prize in person.
What a novel idea – Coke collecting me.

6 thoughts on “Collector Cans

  1. Wouldn’t many of the winning cans still be at the grocery stores? When would they know to start tracking? Sounds like a cool idea though.

  2. Won’t they have to act fast – since people drink the beverage and then toss the can?

  3. a tracking device in my soda can?

  4. I am personally offended by Coke doing this. What if I’m at a whore house?!

  5. How many people crack open an ice cold Coke at a whorehouse? Although Cliff’s point, as noted in the article, is a good one. I would assume, like the Coors promotion of yesteryear, the can will ‘announce’ itself as a winner and tell you to stay put. It might even take a half day or so for Coke to get to you, giving Justin plenty of time to get his pants back on and get home.

  6. So, you’re walking down a street, slugging back a nice cool can of Coca Cola, and you happen to notice that there’s this big red van following you, with men in sunglasses inside, staring at you kind of suspiciously. This freaks you out a bit, so you duck down a sidestreet, and low and behold the van follows you. Now you’re really freaked, so you walk faster, and the van speeds up. So you turn and dash down an alleyway, and the van screeches to a stop, the doors pop open, and the men with sunglasses and scantily clad ladies come after you shouting “Stop! It’s the Coke Patrol!” and you’re waiting for the drug dogs to run you down and tear your throat out, and you’re twisting and turning in the streets, looking for a way out, but it seems like they’ve got a homing device on you, man! They’re not letting go! They’re coming to take you away to Guantanamo Bay and you’re never going to see your family again and you don’t like wearing prison red, even if it has the Coca Cola label on it and, in desperation, you realize that the Coke Cops are homing in on your can. Yes, that’s it: it’s the can! Quick, hand the can off to some homeless person in a dumpster and make your escape, as the scantily-clad ladies pounce on the startled disshevelled character, and the Coke police shake the man’s hand, and cart him away to who-knows-what tortures in the Coca Cola fortress of Atlanta. And that, my friends, is what paranoia can do to people holding GPS locators cunningly disguised as Coca Cola cans.

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