Anthony Carr, yet another gent who makes me question my life’s vocational choices, has cut loose with his yearly “predictions” of what should take place over the next year. For those not familiar with this guy, he’s been predicting wild things for years. He frequently manages to hit one or two (simply because he makes about 400), and his claim to fame is predicting the sexual deviancy of Michael Jackson (click his name – do it!) before it happened. Whilst some might argue that this prediction hardly warrants applause, let alone a paycheque, people like me still enjoy reading his drivel. Amongst this year’s treasures:
- The Eiffel Tower will be toppled.
- Crop circles are real!
- Michael Jackson gets involved in drugs, jailed, and dies.
But how do we know he’s full of horse pucky? “Maple Leafs to win Stanley Cup (honestly)”. Uh-huh. Idiot. You can read his full list of predictions by clickin’ yer dang mouse here.
I’m off to the Grandparents to catch the future Stanley Cup Champions (ha!) and drink a little tea. Don’t muss up the place while I’m out, k?
Kip said it better than I could:
“…this looks like it’s gonna be a good season. Hopefully the next 23 episodes are as good as they were last year, with the same sort of unexpected plot twists that come out of left field. Seriously, people. Watch this show.”
Did everyone catch the season premiere of 24 last night, aired without commercial interruption? As Kip notes in the comments of the previous post, much time was spent building some history over the passings of the last year through character conversation, but now that the base plot is set we can see things are moving right along. You’re doing yourself a disservice if you don’t tune in at least once.
In other, far more important news, Wade Belak has demanded a trade. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!!!! Well then, who are the Leafs to not honour such a request? I mean, as much as we could use the ONE GOAL he scored ALL OF LAST SEASON. Yo! Belak! The problem is usually players require some form of a skill set before another team will offer up something for them. Seriously, I wouldn’t trade a Big Mac and a bag of pucks for this guy.
If you’ve been paying attention, you know I love the Toronto Maple Leafs. You also know I HATE HATE HATE Wade Belak. I wish ill will upon Wade Belak. I wish Wade Belak would take an errant skate blade to the head – not enough to kill, but enough to retire. I’d settle for a trade, though. So you can imagine my excitement when it was announced today that the Leafs had resigned the defensive wunderkind to a new contract – details withheld. I’m telling you now, if he cost more than a Big Mac and a bag of pucks he came too expensive. Oftentimes it’s hard to indicate exactly how bad one particular hockey player is without actually watching a game. But this, friends, might give you some idea – as excerpted from today’s press release:
“Belak, 26, set career-highs in 2001-02 for games played (63), goals (1-tie), assists (3), points (4), and penalty minutes (142).”
Yes, friends. Good old Wade Belak, utility forward and defense, tied his career high in goals last season with 1. 1 goal. What this means is, prior to these two stellar seasons of lighting up the twine with a goal, Wade Belak had scored as many goals in the NHL as I had. I’m going to e-mail the Toronto Maple Leafs to point out a glaring grammatical error in that press release. Why, it says “goals (1-tie)”, where it should say “goal (1-tie)”. And for being a useless blockhead with the scoring touch of a diseased coyote, Belak will make more money next season than I will in the next 10. If Belak was to score a hat trick in one game he would more than double his career goal output. I’m quite surprised we resigned him. You’d think his agent would have been beating General Managers back with a stick. I mean, what team wouldn’t love a goal every one or 63 games?
It’s a depressing day every year when the Maple Leafs are finally eliminated from the Playoffs. Not like it’s much of a surprise, it’s happened every spring/summer since I was born in 1974. Just once I’d like to see it happen. It wouldn’t have been so bad had I not dropped the $100 on a jersey today to show my support. Bah.
There’s always next year, right?