Category Archives: Movies

01.25.04
by

Byron Cherry & Chris Mayer Weren’t Available?

I take a break from my weekend posting hiatus to announce that the unfortunate has happened – apparently the final casting for the 2005 ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ movie is complete:

Paul Walker as Bo Duke
Ashton Kutcher as Luke Duke
Britney Spears as Daisy Duke
Anthony Anderson as Boss Hog

Furthermore, there is thought the Confederate flag on the General Lee will be replaced with the American flag.

I want to stab someone at Warner Brothers in the eye with rusty forks. Seriously. This movie was all I lived for as a child and now they’re going to ruin it with incredibly poor casting and making stupid changes to appease the politically correct crowd. Anthony Anderson as Boss Hog?! At least he can act, which is far more than I can say about either Kutcher or Walker. And all you girly-girls showing up here because you searched “paul walker sexy beast” on Google can shut your pie holes – PAUL WALKER CAN’T ACT.

Which brings me to something – I want to see all of you cast this movie. Post in comments your picks (one or two are fine for each, if you can’t decide) for the following:

Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy Duke, Uncle Jesse, Boss Hogg, Rosco P Coltrane, Enos Strate, and most importantly, the Narrator.

My picks below the drop down so you aren’t swayed if you don’t want to be:

Continue reading →

10.20.02
by

Man, I’m Pretty.. DO THE MONKEY!

I’m not a fan of The Rock by any means, but my gut tells me this could be a role he’s meant to fill.

http://jam.canoe.ca/JamMovies/oct18_therock-can.html
I LOVE this cartoon – I only discovered it and Dexter’s Lab on my January cruise – and I’m still ticked off that it doesn’t air in Canada anymore. If they’re bringing it to the big screen I’d kind of prefer it to be animated, but The Rock kind of has that look.. hrm… so many conflicting opinions…

Cheers!

10.03.02
by

MGM Execs Gone Wild!

Check it out! Yes, for all you fans of the flesh-baring, rip-roaring, misogynistic good time that is Girls Gone Wild, MGM has cut a deal to bring it to a big screen near you. No longer must you slink off to the back orifices of the local video store to satisfy your unsatiable lust for Mindy from Sellersville, PA and her stuffed chest – Mindy’s coming to the Cineplex! I haven’t yet decided if this is further indication that studios have run out of ideas or that Pacino was right when he said it was the Devil’s time (“I think we could all agree the twentieth century has been entirely mine.” – Devil’s Advocate, 1997).

In other news, my true feelings on the illustrious Segway Human Transporter are now located on my corporate blog at Crafty Puppy. I’ll be posting there fairly regularly, along with Andy and Alex, so bookmark it and pay the odd visit perhaps? The dry wit, insightful commentary, and odd humour will still be present over there – it’ll just be a bit more – corporate.

I love you all!

08.20.02
by

Boredom Fading

Although myCaledon isn’t officially launched fully yet (aiming at 9/1) I have put up my first three DVD reviews. If everyone has a bit of time maybe you can give at least one a read and toss some comments in here to let me know what you think. Everything I do is a work-in-progress without that silly picture of the construction worker you see on all those Geocities sites. ;) Please note the 10 Easter Eggs I personally found in the Van Wilder DVD. That’s an accomplishment in my own mind, and I’m hoping they get listed at DVD Easter Eggs because it took me forever to find them all.

Vegas is almost booked for the 16th-20th of September. The hotel is taken care of thanks to my friend Steve and I’m just trying to confirm a cheap-ish flight – so far $505 seems to be as good as it’s going to get, CDN. This is going to be hella-cool because I’ve been dying to see Vegas for years now and never made it. Thank God I don’t gamble or I’d be in trouble.

I noticed Dr. Personality wasn’t filling for Chris on Call For Help today – why was that? He really kind of stunk the joint up on Monday, and today we got Brett instead. Brett’s pretty cool, even if he’s an evangelist for an inferior computer. ;)

BTW, my life sucks because I missed Gnomedex for a second year. Maybe next year – although that is what I said last year…

Cheers!

08.19.02
by

Heeeere’s… Ricky…

Finally back at home, sitting in my comforting computer chair with an actual working Internet (thanks for nothing, Rogers) and bugged-out eyes thanks to Jumbo Video. Will explain this later.

The weekend was good. We hit Webers on the way up to the Muskokas for a nice burger and some ice cream. The place is insane, even moreso on the way home. Just read some of the stats on that link, it’s crazy. From there it was on to a quick stop at the Muskoka Store and then on to the cottage. From there, it was mostly relaxing and swimming – LOTS of swimming. On Saturday I probably swam a good couple kilometres, more than halfway to the other side of Echo Lake. Did a bit of fishing and caught nothing, but also got to try my hand at windsurfing for the first time. I had no problem hoisting the sale (har!) but had a bit of trouble keeping it up (har!) – my entire 30 minute attempt amounted to about 5 feet worth of distance, but there’s always next year!

Today, it was back to work. Jumbo Video here in Bolton is working with my new pending site, myCaledon, to do new DVD reviews. Basically they provide me with three DVDs on Friday, I review them, give them back by Monday (because they aren’t officially released until Tuesday) and then put the reviews up when they’re available for rent. This weekend it was Van Wilder (ok), We Were Soldiers (very good), and perhaps the worst movie I’ve seen in all my years of movie watching, The Sweetest Thing. BAD. Never rent this – you’ve been warned.

So now it’s back to work – hope y’all kept the place tidy while I was gone – looks good so far.

Cheers!