Byron Cherry & Chris Mayer Weren’t Available?

I take a break from my weekend posting hiatus to announce that the unfortunate has happened – apparently the final casting for the 2005 ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’ movie is complete:

Paul Walker as Bo Duke
Ashton Kutcher as Luke Duke
Britney Spears as Daisy Duke
Anthony Anderson as Boss Hog

Furthermore, there is thought the Confederate flag on the General Lee will be replaced with the American flag.

I want to stab someone at Warner Brothers in the eye with rusty forks. Seriously. This movie was all I lived for as a child and now they’re going to ruin it with incredibly poor casting and making stupid changes to appease the politically correct crowd. Anthony Anderson as Boss Hog?! At least he can act, which is far more than I can say about either Kutcher or Walker. And all you girly-girls showing up here because you searched “paul walker sexy beast” on Google can shut your pie holes – PAUL WALKER CAN’T ACT.

Which brings me to something – I want to see all of you cast this movie. Post in comments your picks (one or two are fine for each, if you can’t decide) for the following:

Bo Duke, Luke Duke, Daisy Duke, Uncle Jesse, Boss Hogg, Rosco P Coltrane, Enos Strate, and most importantly, the Narrator.

My picks below the drop down so you aren’t swayed if you don’t want to be:

BO DUKE: Josh Duhamel
LUKE DUKE: Mark Wahlberg
DAISY DUKE: Charlize Theron -or- Jennifer Garner
UNCLE JESSE: Tommy Lee Jones
BOSS HOG: Ving Rhames
ROSCO P COLTRANE: Christian Bale
ENOS STRATE: Harland Williams
NARRATOR: Willie Nelson

5 thoughts on “Byron Cherry & Chris Mayer Weren’t Available?

  1. Actually, it’s a Confederate flag, not a Union Jack.

  2. Mark Wahlberg as Luke Duke, huh? He of Temptation Island fame or he of the Funky Bunch fame?

  3. Rob,
    You’re right, my angered mind must have been temporarily clouded – I should change that.
    Kip, of Funky Bunch fame, but trust me, he’d be good.

  4. Well, the Confederate flag does stand for things many people find offensive in today’s climate …

  5. I don’t know who anthony anderson is, but I think Boss Hogg should be
    portrayed by louie anderson or the big guy on curb your enthusiasm (larry
    david’s agent).
    brittney will make a great daisy duke, I can’t wait for the shorts. She
    already has the south in her.
    bo duke – eminem – the real slim shady…
    luke duke – dwight yokum (sp.)
    uncle jesse should be played by wilfred Brimley, get him outta those
    medical blood treatment ads…
    the narrator should be bill kurtis

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