I admit it, I really want a Magic Bullet. It all started innocently enough late a couple Saturdays back when Paul and I had been watching some music DVDs and strumming on guitars to find ‘Blind Date‘ on. 30-minutes of retro fun folded into infomercials, and in our tired haze it seemed a great idea to watch. What was unveiled before us was the single greatest infomercial of all time: The Original Magic Bullet, aka the personal versatile counter-top magician. I was so fascinated by this device’s ability to rip through everything from salsa to smoothies it wasn’t until afterwards I found myself asking the important questions: Who are these people? Why is only one of them hung over? Why are they having fettuccine alfredo for breakfast? Where’d the “nasty, stinky garlic” lady come from; is she Mimi’s mother? Let’s be honest, I don’t care; I need an Original Magic Bullet so I can make omelets and breakfast margaritas. The two for $100 deal makes my Christmas shopping hella-easy this year as well.
I shouldn’t allow this post to escape without thanking Cliff for inviting me along last night to the Jays/Twins game on some free ducats he snagged off the Jays website. It wasn’t hard to figure out why tickets were free with approximately 500 people present for the singing of the anthems. Like stealthy ninjas we (Cliff, House, Mike, myself) slowly moved our way to improved seats, at one point groping the foul pole (not a pole!) presumably to say we did. Absolutely nothing of interest took place, an oddity for me and the Jays, but a good time was had by all as we took home the 9-0 victory. A big up yours to Gretzky’s for baiting us with the promise of a Mookie Morris concert only to find out they hadn’t changed the sign since he’d played last week. Apparently both Mookie and Wayne Gretzky are liars.
Speaking of YouTube I need to thank Sionne for this awesome viral video for ‘Tropic Thunder’. If you haven’t seen it yet (the video, not the movie) check it out below the drop-down.
Today’s Random Links
They’re making a movie about Facebook.. anybody else smell Oscar?
The must-have desktop accessory – the Desk Top Butt Station!
What if Star Trek was actually the Love Boat?
Now Playing
The Autumn Defense – Circles

Continue reading →

Even without a gym to go to post-haste after work on a daily basis anymore I’m happy to say that I’ve not yet gained any of the weight back, seemingly hovering at a tidy 174. I can’t wait to be in a position to sign up for a gym again and start those final nine pounds to the 165 goal that’s been 11 years coming now. In only three more pounds I’ll have lost 70, and it’s got me thinking that I’d be crazy not to put fingers to keys and employ a little SEO to try and sell my own little lifestyle guide slash diet plan. Of course, needing to purchase all new clothes could not have come at a worse time. Thankfully, seeing as I’m too old to care about fashion, I’ve also started pulling out my 11-year-old shirts. Like NBC’s Thursday nights, if you haven’t seen them they’re new to you!
This little post sparked by the news that the long-suffering High-Fructose Corn Syrup industry requires more profits and won’t take this public paddling lying down. The Corn Refiners Association have gone through the trouble of creating SweetSurprise, a new website offering up hardened sweetener facts like “sweeteners play an important role in a healthy, balanced diet.” Referencing such illustrious groups as the FDA – yes, the same that banned stevia many years ago when urged to do so by those with deeper pockets – the site pleads with you to believe that this by-product of the lowly corn stalk is no different than real sugar, even employing the meaningless “natural” term. Yes, it’s true, there’s no jurisdiction on the term natural, and thus it means nothing. They fail to mention that HFCS turns off your appetite suppression, hence why it’s so much easier to drink 2L of pop today than it was when you were younger. Too bad their FAQ wasn’t a Wiki or I could have added it in.
AdFreak, my favourite marketing blog read, reminds us of similar good times for the cigarette industry with this ad for Chesterfield cigarettes that provides indisputable evidence behind the goodness of cigarettes.
Today’s Random Links
Williamsburg

Today marks the release (finally!) of the long rumoured Google web browser. Titled Google Chrome (and available here) it’s launching for Windows only, although the promise of Apple and Linux is coming down the pipe. I’ve downloaded it but not yet installed as I’ve been knee deep in research tonight, but should have a chance to give it the old run-through tomorrow. Have you tried it out yet?
Speaking of Google I was amused to read up on the latest misuse of Interweb resources by Cuil, the Google Killer (ha!) from earlier this summer. A new search engine meant to cut a swath of destruction through the big G, instead, Cuil has met mockery and general disgust all while, apparently, “completely hammering (sites it indexes) with traffic.” Gotta love the tale of the Cuil spider visiting one site 70,000 times in one month and sucking out 2GB of data. I’m totally not linking to it, my little server hamster can’t handle anywhere near 70,000 non-unique visits.
On the job front I should note that Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is definitely the hot topic as of late, and my web background is helping garner some attention towards suitable roles. Interesting that this blog right here has been my trial by fire (and by accident) into that world. I always have, and continue to, get a ton of search engine traffic purely based on the ridiculous amount of content that can be found here. 3,002 posts as of clicking publish on this here post .. I didn’t even realize the 3,000th anniversary hit on the Clarity post. To paraphrase the disappointing conclusion of ‘Medal of Honor: Allied Assault‘.. “would you look at that…”
Today’s Random Links
ATT Ontario Beer Fans: LCBO Autumn Ales and Hallowe’en Beers Releases.
The Dears release a new album – and a new tour – in less than a month!
Don LaFontaine, whose film voiceovers ruled, has sadly passed.
Now Playing
Ray LaMontagne – Trouble

So I’ve awarded myself a day off of the job search today, seeing as I’ve been pretty diligent reconnecting with old friends and colleagues, obtaining some phone interviews, and starting next week, some actual interviews. There’s some great opportunities out there for a guy like me and I’m more confident than ever that not being with Ingram Micro is going to be good news in the end. I’ll keep everyone posted on the next destination, whatever it may be.
Wednesday I had an opportunity to meet up with Sionne and some of his fellow web analyticticians (ooohh.. making up big words..) for Web Analytics Wednesday at Bar Wellington in the outer Western reaches of Toronto. It was a fairly small and intimate gathering of web professionals, but a great group that ranged from big telecom folks right down to some startups, and everyone had a story to tell. On a personal note it was great to catch up with one of my marketing mentors from way back and get some solid advice and feedback on my attempts to assemble a real career path to cover the next six years. I guess next up is MoMo, whenever Alex gets off his duff and books it.
Check out Sionne’s link up there for an awesome Twitter video, and for the sake of all things holy sign up so I have more than a few people following me. What fun is Web 2.0 if I’m doing it alone?!
A Web 1.0 friend – Laura – has embarked on a dream of mine I didn’t know I had until she did it. Check out this link for her tour of ‘The Goonies‘ filming locations in Astoria, Oregon. Jealous!
Today’s Random Links
BB10’s Keesha got nude in a film. Watch it while you can!
David Duchovny is a sex addict.
Now Playing
John Mayer Trio – “Try!”

A couple weeks ago my parents called us down to their house for a family gathering, apparently due to the fact that my brother-in-law is about to embark on a long period of time working alone at his restaurant after his chef recently resigned. Truth was, for reasons still not clear to me, they wanted to present my sister and I each with a Sharp AQUOS 42″ LCD television. As of Friday I had managed to secure a nice new stand for it, and installed my Rogers HD-PVR, and have delved into the world of HD ever since. I think I get 18 HD channels and you’d think they were the only channels I get now as I seem to refuse to look at any others. I’ve now joined the realm of people who watch Discovery HD just because it’s on.
Paul came by this weekend, originally to enjoy some guitar, but as it went there was very little guitar played. We both had our first chance to check out Blu-ray as he brought his PS3 and John Mayer: Where the Light Is Blu-ray. Count me as a doubter of the Blu-ray displays at Wal-Mart that show the benefits over DVD but it’s actually true, the picture quality is significantly improved. Coupled up with lots of MLB 08: The Show and it was a fun, almost guitar-free weekend. And considering the PS3 is the same price as a Blu-ray player (~$400) it seems almost crazy to buy a Blu-ray and not a PS3, right?