Being that it’s almost hockey season I felt it’s time to do my part towards ensuring the health and safety of our children. It may be Canada’s national past-time, but it’s also a potentially dangerous and damaging activity. Today’s safety lesson is geared towards the younger goaltenders out there – learn from the mistakes of your predecessors, and pay close attention.
I can’t remember how old I was, although I played hockey from age 4 until 16, so we’re looking somewhere in the latter area of those years. One day we’re dressing for our game when our goaltender realized he’d left his athletic supporter at home, not a terribly good thing to forget. It was almost game time and he quickly made the decision that as he’d never in his years of goaltending been hit in Gorilla Monsoon’s bread-basket, perhaps he’d be safe to take the risk. Not without at least one level of protection, though; he snagged a small paper cup from the bathroom and molded it appropriately within his gear to protect his unmentionables.
You see where this is going. I know you do.
Breakaway in the third period, opposition breaks over the line and chooses to launch a slap shot from just in the blue line. A seeing eye slap shot that takes aim and attaches to the target it sought with great precision. The goalie falls to the ice (nice stop!) and writhes around until the coaches assist him back to the dressing room and we throw a back-up stopper in there. We finished the game and hurriedly made our way to the dressing room to check on our fallen comrade. We walked in the dressing room and what did we see?
A goaltender with his head down in his hands. In front of him on the floor lay the crumpled remains of a paper cup.
Kids, don’t forget your athletic supporter.
Today’s Random Links
ABC reveals ‘The Bachelor: Rome’ bachelorettes.
Chevy Chase plays Mel Gibson on ‘Law & Order’.
Terrell Owens attempts suicide.
A&E buys ‘The Coreys’.. why?
Will NYC ban trans fats?