Add Domino’s to the ever-expanding list of fast food chains introducing healthy and artisan menu items. Below the fold you’ll find their new ad featuring lovable Fabio Viviani of Top Chef as the fumbles to introduce Domino’s Artisan Pizzas through his trademarked broken English. These pizzas are made with hand-stretched crust and topped with your choice of Spinach & Feta, Tuscan Salami & Roasted Veggie or Italian Sausage & Pepper Trio. Best of all? Only $7.99!
I’m going to ignore the use of stereotypical “foreigner who can’t speak English”, that never gets old. Nor ask questions like “if these are hand stretched and artisanal then what are their supposedly improved regular pizzas they spent the last two years promoting?” I’ll simply ask the question “can you make an artisan pizza featuring salami from the Tuscan region of Italy for $7.99 at home?” Of course you can’t. Nor can you make a burger out of prime rib for $3.99, which hasn’t stopped A&W from releasing their $3.99 Grandma Prime Rib Burger.
Perhaps the only thing worse than trying to convince an uninformed public that you’re delivering them real food for discount prices is trying to convince me you’re healthy. Burger King is now adding salads, oatmeal and smoothies to their menu to compete with McDonald’s and Wendy’s, they of the lettuce dredged in bleach and 500 calorie toppings.
Perhaps fast food chains like Domino’s can stop wasting time introducing artisan pizzas that won’t be here in two years and spend more time focusing on what brings people to Domino’s in the first place – inexpensive comfort food of questionable nutrition. Possibly without the racist ads as well?
NEW YORK (AP) — There’s an unclaimed $1 million out there — somewhere.
The jackpot is actually 12 jewels hidden in very public places around the United States. All you need to do to get any or all the gems is to decipher clues in the book “A Treasure’s Trove.” The clues lead to a dozen 18-karat gold tokens. Author Michael Stadther, who hid each of the tokens himself, promises that they are all in public places where they can be easily accessed without digging, moving or disturbing objects or structures. Once a token is in hand, it can be redeemed for one of the jewels.
If you’re interested in getting the book it’s already available online (Canada | USA), and seems to be doing quite well for something published independently. Every now and then someone still surprises me with their ingenuity and creativity, and Michael Stadther is one of them.
That said, it does kind of remind me of the old “Where’s Herb?” Burger King campaign. For those not in the know it was 20 years ago this year that BK launched a big in-store banner campaign asking “Where’s Herb?” After some time we, the customer, were notified that we were to find a customer named Herb, however we were not shown a picture of Herb. So essentially we were to ask random strangers what their names were, I suppose, all in the name of selling more Whoppers. Finally, at the Super Bowl that year, they showed us what Herb looked like – a big nerd who’d never eaten a Whopper, making most of us wonder what he was doing in Burger King in the first place. Burger King’s sales dropped huge until someone finally found Herb and won $5,000, although it was simply because the actor portraying Herb had gone to get a burger prior to when he was supposed to be found. Anyways, good luck with the Michael’s family jewels, whoever decides to embark on the quest.