Fever Dog

Swedish for animal erotica? IKEA's Canadian division is taking it on the chin in recent days after their coveted 2007 catalogue began making its way to subscribers. Sadly I had ignored mine thus far and can't take any credit for catching this, but most of you have probably heard of the "hind leg" by now. Today's picture is expandable for those requiring a closer look. My take? While it doesn't look like a leg, I'm pretty sure it is. Regardless, it's no wonder how he found a career in show business. He's quite clearly been sleeping his way to the epitome of dog acting: Canada's IKEA catalogue. For their part, IKEA's Canadian headquarters insist it's not an altered photo in the style of, say, a few Disney movies; but nothing more than a dog's leg. As Debbie McDowell, corporate communications manager, so eloquently puts it: "It's that straightforward. The picture is unfortunate, but we hope our customers will see past the image and see how fantastic the other 364 pages in the catalogue really are."

Perhaps the person most happy with this news is CNN anchor Kyra Phillips, who can now easily divert attention from her now public spat with her sister-in-law. If you hadn't heard, a slight technical malfunction on Turner's news yesterday saw Phillips' bathroom visit and subsequent conversation played over a George Bush press conference. Checkitout.

Today's Random Links
Lakehead launch an ill-advised assault on George Bush and Yale.. nice one..
If I didn't already own an iPod, this would likely make me want one.
Impress the kids with ham: It's what's for dinner!
Top 10 stupidest "as-soon-on-TV" products.
Make your own virtual concert ticket!

Different Eyes

So what happens if I mix important social commentary with reality television? Let's find out...

It's now confirmed that the next edition of 'Survivor' will feature 20 castaways divided into four teams of five, and segregated racially. That's one team each made of African-American, Asian-American, Caucasian, and Hispanic ethnic backgrounds. This has brought about the expected attention and discussion, and my news rounds today brought a fair amount of bashing from politicians, columnists, and social experts.

I'm in no way of the thought that racism is dead, as some supporters would have you believe. I know it's not dead, and while I personally choose to associate with tolerant people, I've met people who've shocked me with their racist views. They're still out there.

That said, I fully support the idea of dividing tribes by race and can't wait to watch it. Reason?

Because I think the biggest crime against race relations in my lifetime has been the burning desire of many to paint everyone with the same brush. Beyond even race it is the generally accepted public view that everyone fit the one mold we've all decided must fit. There is no colour, creed, orientation, gender, or personal choice.

People are different. The opportunity to place that on television on a top 10 show puts that unsettling fact front and centre. How people deal with the fact that people can be different - and still be accepted - is where this little social experiment intrigues me.

So what are your thoughts?

Note: If this post can be viewed in both a positive and negative way, I meant it in the positive one. Peace.

Sunken Treasure

I think I'm learning: Discussion of serious things bad. Discussion of horrid reality shows good. Let's try out this equation.

As noted on the Zonk I missed Sunday's episode of 'Big Brother', and apparently it wasn't the one to miss. I'm only watching the %$#@ing show because the hamsters are too stupid to get rid of Will; I swear the moment he's gone I can settle into my plum post-BB7 life. I can only hope.

I did, however, use YouTube to catch Howie's Sunday exile and the big confrontation ("get to steppin'!"), and found an interview this morning that indicates young Howie is no longer the happy-go-lucky Jedi Master we saw only days ago. Speaking to "The Slug" we get the following snippets:

On Chicken George: "I really hate the guy. And I hate his family. And I hate his existence right now because he swore to me twice that he was gonna keep me safe. He promised me twice he was gonna keep me safe, and he went against his word and I take that personally."

On ChillTown: "I hate Will and Boogie 10 times more than I hate Busto. Ten times more over. If Will and Boogie's plane goes down on the way out here, I won't lose a second of sleep over it."

In other news, two days after the Geniuses won $3 million alongside the worst, least capable reality show host of all time, I still can't figure out why the %$#@ I ever watched 'Treasure Hunters'. I could have spent those hours doing something productive, like playing ball in a cup.

Today's Random Links
NYC in Lego.. I love the ghetto Lego booty! (Thanks, Rob)
Vintage Ads: "Now she can cook breakfast again!"
Say No to Hummers.. at McDonald's.. ?
Snakes on my toast!

Weighed Down

I recently saw a picture of myself from 2001 at a christening for my nephew. It was just prior to my realization that I had let myself fall into unacceptable weight gain and, knowing the facts behind weight control, set out to slowly lose what I could. The picture showed a 235+ pound man wearing a blousy button-up shirt that he thought could hide the fat. It saddened and angered me all at the same time because I'm not sure, at the time, I'd ever truly realized where I'd been back then. The good news is I made the change in my late 20s, and now at 32 weigh in somewhere near 180-185 with some more weight to lose, but with no fear of gaining it back. There's a new lease on life that makes me want to be active, constantly full of energy and wanting to help others feel the same passion for living I bought myself in the past five years.

The reason for this story isn't a plea for "good for you" comments. There's a far more important story to tell.

Friday was Midnight Madness, and not having to be part of it this year, I decided to get Mary and head in to see it. There was a nice set up and we decided to head by a local restaurant run by a friend of mine. Part of a healthy lifestyle is to enjoy something you shouldn't from time-to-time, to keep yourself in check and shock your metabolism a bit, so I had no problem enjoying a hawaiian burger and a small draught. All was well as we left to head back to the festivities.

As we left we noticed a small commotion by the cashier where one employee was on the phone with an anxious customer in front of him. I picked out the words "ambulance" and "heart attack" while paying, and glanced around the restaurant. In the corner I saw a man who was likely 50-60 pounds overweight resting in the corner, his face bright red and streaming with sweat. He was dabbing the sweat away while people surrounded him doing nothing because there was nothing that could be done. He spoke in a very high, hushed voice while trying to gather breath, waiting for an ambulance to come and take him away. To this moment I have no idea if he's ok or what the status is, and I hope to find out soon.

Folks, for all the talk we do and have done about healthy eating and such I'm not trying to preach you into submission. Watching a man suffer a heart attack simply because he's eaten whatever he wanted can change things. Everything in moderation is bull; we live in a world where truly bad things are fed to us by a Government who could care less what we ingest. We need to take more conscious control of what goes in our bodies, and we need to start now. Don't tell yourself you can start tomorrow, our obituaries are littered with men and women who thought they'd lose weight tomorrow.

Take care of yourselves.

The Beautiful Letdown

It’s amazing what a few days off can do for a man. Its Monday morning, I had to fight through traffic to get to the office and yet for some reason I still feel good this morning. Why is that? Because for only 3rd time in the 2 years I’ve been working I had 3 days off in a row. So what did I do with all this free time? Well when faced with such a great opportunity only one thing came to mind…… Golf.

Yes this weekend I took advantage of the extra time I had and made my way out to the links for a few rounds of golf. Now I told Rick after our last day out on the links I was going to share with everyone what makes golf such a great game to play, but as usual I got lazy and didn’t. So since I feel good this morning I’ll take the time to share with everyone.

I played 2 rounds this weekend. The first was a twilight round at a course near me in Guelph, Springfield Golf Club. Now I have only recently discovered that Springfield is actually a nice little course to play and for $20 after 6pm you can get in all the holes you can manage before it gets dark. I played a quick 9 with my friend Ryan and managed to shoot a respectable (for me anyways) 47. This was actually a personal best. Now was I happy? No. Why? Because I had goofed up on the 8th hole and 3-putted when I got on the green in two shots. That one hole managed to ruin the round for me. Sunday I headed up towards Barrie to golf with my Uncle at a little course called Innisfil Creek. Some of you may recognize it as you drive past it on the 400 heading north, just past the Cookstown Outlet Mall. This course isn’t anything special. Its short, not overall well maintained, but fairly challenging with at least one pond on almost every hole. Well know that I had managed to put together a decent 9 on Friday, I was hoping for a good round. I managed to shot a personal best 95, which was great. So was I happy? No. Why? Because once again was on the 18th hole with a 4ft put for a round of 93 and I missed twice!

So what’s the point of all this? Well I’ve come to realize that no matter how good I play; it’s always the bad things that I remember. I made plenty of great shots in both rounds, but I focus on the one thing that cost me some strokes. Now this may sound like a bad thing but really it isn’t. I look forward to my next round in the hope that I can correct that one big blunder and win back those 2 strokes. I know in the back of my mind that I can do it and there is the potential for a better round next time. So I will walk away now with my 95, but next time I will win back those 2 strokes. Golf is truly a magical game. It’s the only game that can truly frustrate you to the point that you want nothing to do with it, but you will jump at the chance to play another round.

Mistress of Storms

I'm still loving Rock Star: Supernova, and it seems I'm not alone judging on Zonk talk. My family have always been American Idol fans and have either ignored this show or don't seem to be avid followers at all. Luckily for me my country-loving wife has been enjoying it so, coupled with the PVR, catching it three times a week hasn't been hard. Sure, these folks aren't all pure, authentic "great" singers, but if given the choice between listening to Zayra or anyone on Canadian Idol I wouldn't be watching CTV...

Anyways, who's left that absolutely can't win? Zayra, for obvious reasons. Patrice, who is a great performer in her own right, but doesn't want this at all. Ryan is probably the most talented musician of them all, but the worst fit of everyone left.

Who could win, but won't? Toby, too much pretty boy no matter how hard he parties. Lukas, whose voice simply isn't good enough to front even this band. Magni, who won't leave his family and existing career, something both he and the band know.

That leaves Storm and Dilana, and if I'm right, an all-girl finale for a hard rock band. Dilana doesn't fit the band as well as Storm, although she's quite talented and entertaining. She's somewhat one-dimensional, which wouldn't bode well for an entire album or concert worth of listening. Storm has an existing career and band that have made her a name where she's from, and it might be hard to leave that. However, this isn't a band in it for the long-haul; Tommy Lee remains with the on/off touring edition of Motley Crue and Jason Newsted is still a member of Voivod. That means this one-album, one-tour supergroup only needs a rental, and that rental is...

... Storm Large.

Today's Random Links
It must pain Taylor Hicks that N'Sync members don't like him.
"I know that children love Elmo. But children are idiots."
Angry Nintendo Nerd reviews Karate Kid (bad language)
Hot dogs may cause genetic mutations.

Bad As They Seem

This story contains Hell's Kitchen spoilers.

It's so strange who I find myself drawn to on reality television shows. In my regular life I'm a 'good guy' - a non-judging Christian who likes to spend time volunteering in his community and attempts to treat everyone how he wishes he could be treated. Which makes my love of the reality villain that much stranger.

It all started with 'Survivor' when I latched on to Richard Hatch and cheered like a horror-movie vixen when he won. Will from 'Big Brother 2' was my next, and that's continued to this season when it seems the world has inexplicably caught up with me. Brian Heidik from 'Survivor: Thailand' was another, and now last night I somehow found myself secretly cheering on Virginia on 'Hell's Kitchen 2'. I had a few people over to watch it, all of whom were quite noticeably cheering on Heather, yet there I sat in my little corner cracking a covert smile when she won the reward and anytime Heather had some food sent back at the end. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with Heather winning, but it just seemed I wanted Virginia under the pomp and circumstance of the finale.

Worse yet, should anyone ever take a chance and throw me on a reality show, I know I'm going to be the villain. I justify it by saying that as long as I play within the rules all behavior is acceptable. Those who've had the misfortune of playing any game with me know I never let someone win. I'm ferociously competitive, and would thus logically do whatever it took to win if I were in the 'Big Brother' house too. Who knows, perhaps one day it'll happen.

Up North

This weekend, following the Toronto Festival of Beer, Mary and I headed up to Baysville to spend some quality time with Craig, Cheryl, and their three youngsters. We missed the chance to visit the cottage last year - something I've done just about every year for a long, long time - so it was great to get back up. There's not much in life more relaxing than time on a lake in Muskoka.

We relaxed a bit on Saturday when we finally got up there, and Sunday we headed in for a short visit to Huntsville. Too short as they closed everything about 30 minutes after we go there, luckily after we'd snagged some Yog's. Craig and I were on the same page with the Peanut Butter Rolo. They had Rolo right beside it, which begged the question, who would see Peanut Butter Rolo and say "no, no.. actually, I'll have the ordinary Rolo." I really don't get people.

Samantha and Justin are growing up quickly, lots of fun to play with, although Justin was a little ill and justifiably cranky from time-to-time. Baby Ethan - or Baby Wheat Thins as he's come to be known - spent almost the entire 48 hours sleeping, which was awesome. Wish I had that kind of commitment.

The good news is I ended two streaks at once with one cast of a Mepps Aglia Long on Saturday. Took in a small Largemouth Bass which ended my shutout in 2006, but more importantly, my shutout on Craig's lake. I've been up there fishing for many, many moons and that was the first time I finally pulled one in. All those hours watching Cronzy are paying off.

Tonight's the two-hour season finale of Hell's Kitchen, and I'm havin' me a little party. Talk to y'all tomorrow!

Today's Random Links
Working on a Tech Support Line, Answering Your 500th Call of Someone Who Claims He Can't Send Email
Found in Clearwater, where the elderly won't "get it".. heh..
Turn any website into a Word document! Safe for work!

Cold Beer Hello

So yesterday was the Toronto Festival of Beer for a bunch of us. Getting all the names might be hard for me, but it was Mark and I meeting up with Mike and a series of his friends, as well as Rachel and about seven of her friends. For those not familiar it's at Historic Fort York, costs $20, and you get an 8oz cup and five sample tokens upon entry. Each sample is 4oz and costs, usually, one token; fancier brands can run between two and three tokens. Save for the lack of cup-washing stations the event was well run, although the food is quite expensive there, Mark and I having paid $8 for a pulled pork on a bun. It was ok, they had a real smoker there and were doing proper BBQ, so we were fine with it.

I'm now up to 79 ranks on www.ratebeer.com thanks to this event, which allowed me to add the following:

Black Oak Nut Brown Ale
Black Oak Summer Saison
Black Oak Hop Bomb Pale Ale Cask Conditioned
Cameron's Auburn Ale
Church-Key Purple Loosestrife Mead
JR Brickman Pilsner
McAuslan Cream Ale
Mort Subite Framboise
Nickel Brook Green Apple Pilsner
Scotch Irish Black Irish Porter
Scotch Irish Sgt Major's IPA
Scotch Irish Tsarina Katarina Imperial Stout
St Ambroise Oatmeal Stout
Trafalgar Critical Mass 15% Strong Beer
Wellington Imperial Russian Stout

We also tried the Golden Horseshoe Premium Lager Ice Cream, which tasted nothing at all like lager, and a Mike's Hard mike-arita so I could get the hat from the picture below. Add in two beef patties and that was the day. Good stuff, and if anyone is bored Sunday, I highly recommend you attend.

I now plan to take the weekend off - enjoy yourselves!

Beer fest

Beer fest, shot by overanything.

Fools Like Me

So I've got this fever, see. And the only prescription appears to be Lisa Loeb. I'm not sure why or when this occurred, although I believe it to have something to do with the debut of her 'Number One Single' reality show in Canada, which I've been addicted to. Regardless, I pulled out my copy of her first album and listened to that; nary enough to satisfy my cravings. I ventured off to snag the new 'Very Best of Lisa Loeb' album, which contained enough to at least temporarily ward off the shakes and such.

So Sunday I'm off to the LCBO after church (what?) in my grey Saturn ION, windows down, arm on the ledge, Lisa Loeb blaring out the GM stock stereo. I'm singing along in my best falsetto: "You say, I only hear what I want to.. you say I talk slow all the time.. so?"

So just then I glance off to my left while stopped at a red light in Brampton on Sandalwood and Dixie to see a low-riding white Accord containing two gentlemen who appeared none too pleased with my song selection. They was giving me the stink eye. So I break out laughing, because let's be honest, I realize the absurdity in a pasty white boy belting out Lisa Loeb in his 2003 Saturn ION; we can all be friends, and laugh at my expense. But they wouldn't laugh. They just looked like they'd prefer to beat me about the head.

So I sped off. Today, I listened to Q107.

Today's Random Links
Where would we be without "research" to answer our questions?
Who knew being in Alanis videos was a step up? Go Heinz Joey!
Chocolate Dipped Altoids? Exclusive to eBay - be the first!
A bacon-loving vegetarian who's allergic to contacts..?

Baby, You Can Drive My Car

Well the long weekend is behind us and I hope everyone had a good time. I actually did manage to get out of once and found time to go up north and to play a little golf. I spent all day Sunday north of Owen Sound swimming and enjoying the great weather at a friends place right on the water. If you’ve never been up to that area to swim in Georgian Bay I have two things to tell you about it. First it’s the clearest water that you will find in Canada and second it’s cold, but that doesn’t really bother me. Monday I played a quick round of golf with my two uncles and my younger brother Paul. It was a great day out on the links. We played a course 5 minutes from my house, but oddly enough I’ve never played it before.

But enough of that, its on to my favorite part of the long weekend. With the end of the long weekend comes the long list of people that were caught for various highway infractions as they headed out to enjoy themselves. I’m amazed to see that people have yet to learn that long weekends = more cops on the highways lurking under overpasses and behind signs waiting to pull them over. As usual over 800 fines were handed out this weekend for everything from speeding to not wearing seatbelts. As well over 200 vehicles were pulled off the road for being unsafe. Anyways here’s some reading material for this morning. Hope all of you had a safe and fun long weekend.

Stupid driver tricks

What You Want

My guitar hero, Nuno Bettencourt, is the guitar on the new Mindfreak single by Criss Angel. Video visible right here:

Coupled with his inclusion on Perry Farrell's new Satellite Party band and perhaps my boy can finally shake the "More Than Words" stigma.

Pigs On The Wing (Part One)

While I've never had much of an opportunity to truly utilize my marketing skills in an agency environment it hasn't sapped my desire to do so. What that typically involves is being extra-critical of everyone else's marketing work, as we marketers are apt to do. Largely, radio advertising is the worst, followed by TV, and lately, it seems print has taken a rise. Coolz0r disagrees with me and hates this ad, but I love it just for the slogan.

Would have been better if it were a donkey instead of a pig, though, no?

In the meantime, Chipotle is using a new campaign to publicize their move towards humanely slaughtered meat, whenever possible. It's called "honest ingredients" and involves an animal speaking the truth, as per this press release.

Which makes this site so very entertaining.

Today's Random Links
Stephen Colbert "brings democracy to knowledge" with Wikipedia.
The many strange products that come from Japan...
The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs
The top 10 bands that pi$$ed it all away

Another Fine Day

Somehow, some way, the band now has four songs in progress. That's enough for a demo. Who knows, maybe we'll have sound samples up before long.

Spent Friday at Bear Creek golfing - I suck at golf. I think I've decided to either give it up or just stop at nine holes.

In other news, the Entertainment section is back .. for now.