Add Domino’s to the ever-expanding list of fast food chains introducing healthy and artisan menu items. Below the fold you’ll find their new ad featuring lovable Fabio Viviani of Top Chef as the fumbles to introduce Domino’s Artisan Pizzas through his trademarked broken English. These pizzas are made with hand-stretched crust and topped with your choice of Spinach & Feta, Tuscan Salami & Roasted Veggie or Italian Sausage & Pepper Trio. Best of all? Only $7.99!
I’m going to ignore the use of stereotypical “foreigner who can’t speak English”, that never gets old. Nor ask questions like “if these are hand stretched and artisanal then what are their supposedly improved regular pizzas they spent the last two years promoting?” I’ll simply ask the question “can you make an artisan pizza featuring salami from the Tuscan region of Italy for $7.99 at home?” Of course you can’t. Nor can you make a burger out of prime rib for $3.99, which hasn’t stopped A&W from releasing their $3.99 Grandma Prime Rib Burger.
Perhaps the only thing worse than trying to convince an uninformed public that you’re delivering them real food for discount prices is trying to convince me you’re healthy. Burger King is now adding salads, oatmeal and smoothies to their menu to compete with McDonald’s and Wendy’s, they of the lettuce dredged in bleach and 500 calorie toppings.
Perhaps fast food chains like Domino’s can stop wasting time introducing artisan pizzas that won’t be here in two years and spend more time focusing on what brings people to Domino’s in the first place – inexpensive comfort food of questionable nutrition. Possibly without the racist ads as well?